The word menopause has always  been a word i associated with ageing, angry, flustered women.

That’s about as much as I had known about the menopause.

I remember as a child the period chat, it was brief but it was definitely acknowledged.

Then once pregnant was the brief chats with others about their experiences, there were booklets and pamphlets from hospital and there were antenatal classes too which also explained the science behind each stage of your body going into labour…I even remember being given a piece of paper to write down my ‘birthing plan’.

I’m not sure how much that helped as when push came to shove (literally!) all I wanted was anything and everything to help the pain!

After my babies were born the support continued with home visits from nurses, baby clinic at my gp and the antenatal  groups had become mummy friendship groups.

There were forums like ‘mums net’ and so many books to chose from.

Finally those brief  period chat days were over and women were talking, information was available and post natal depression was no longer a myth or taboo! Hurray times were changing!

Fast forward ten years later and I’m in my menopause, a surgical menopause.

Because it was surgical, I can tell you the date

When I ‘gave birth’ to menopause. 

There were no chats before, no hospital booklets or pamphlets, no pre-op groups and after surgery no follow up appointments  by nurses/gps, no medical explanation for the changes that I was experiencing.

I searched for books, podcasts and any info.

I felt panicked, frustrated and scared.

Why was no one talking about this?

Why wasn’t the hospital concerned about what I might be experiencing?

Should I be experiencing these changes?

I was certainly flustered and angry.

When reaching out for help I was told over and over again that the changes I was experiencing were normal ..how could this be ok I asked myself?

If you are experiencing low mood, huge anxiety, exhaustion, insomnia, negative thoughts and detachment from everything you love surely that is a concern?

If all of the above was the secondary cause of depression,PSTD, or a break down would you be expected to just except all these changes?

The answer has to be NO!

Why are women not offered the replacement of hormones automatically?

Why are we not offered blood tests and being prescribed hrt in a tailored made way to ensure our levels are correct?

Is the anger we experience as menopausal women out of frustration? Is it years of feeling as an imposter in a world that is much more understanding, supportive and forgiving of men?

Please do not suffer in silence.

I chose not too and since making that decision everyday has got a little easier and also given me the confidence to speak up and get the help I need.

Share what you are going through with loved ones so they can understand what you are going through.

Menopause maybe a natural change or a surgical change but either way it’s a huge change.

The menopause for me is getting to know a new me, and actually I think I’m probably the kindest I’ve even been to myself as I know how much my body and mind needs my support.

Learn to be your own advocate and biggest fan. Fight for what you need so that women in future generations won’t have too.

It all can be overwhelming at times and when it is rather than try to hide my menopause my new phrase ‘May I Pause’

take a few mins out..the world will still be there when you come back .

Cristina Maniscalchi

You can find her at Cristinamaniscalchi1980@hotmail.com
Network hair (insta)

If this story has resonated with you and if you are struggling please know that there are ways to help support yourself .

If you would like to know more about menopause coaching head here