My son came across from the UK just as they announced tier 4 in London, he was mid flight! So good timing. I picked him up from Toulouse and we had a fun filled 10 days together.

We are very close and having this concentrated time was very special for us both.

We walked, we talked, we laughed. We visited the beach, drove up mountains and we got drunk together for the first time at a pool party ( fire pit on ). Sol told me later it was the first time he had felt completely like an adult at a party, I thought that was lovely feedback.

We also had 2 road trips of 6 hours on the way up and back to the Dordogne to visit friends for Christmas. Sol has a wonderfully eclectic music taste and so we listened to a lot of Elvis, Grime ( I know ...I liked some of it a lot !) and various Christmas mixes.

There were 9 of us for Christmas, 3 families, young people ranging in age from 14 to 21 and it was so special. Everyone got on splendidly. There were no 'pain bodies' that have a tendency to rise up over Christmas and Sara and I were a dream team and pulled a delicious turkey dinner out of the bag. A bit later than we wanted , 4 hours actually but it was exactly how it should have been and I felt joyful, truly.

The 4 days I spent there were full of laughter, food and music. All the kids could play an instrument and we had plenty of jamming and spontaneous lounge gigs, really wonderful moments and memories were made at La Croix (Find it on Air B and B , Bohemian farmhouse and Gites )

Driving back down to my French village it became clear to me that I needed to make some changes once again. My gut was telling me with an uneasy feeling that lasted about two days. I listened and the answer became clear. I was lonely and needed to be around people who loved me, UK is in lockdown and I hadn't seen my mum since October 2019.... I had the answer, Majorca here we come!

After dropping my son at the airport I was understandably a little lonely. I have learnt to embrace this feeling and use it as way to tune into what I want to do next. Funnily enough the answers were not too far away.

New Years Eve was spent a little bit pissed on my own for the first time ever at this time of year and desperately craving a fag! I even walked up the road to where the only half decent looking bloke lived to summon up the courage to ask for a ciggy. I chickened out at the last minute. Probably for the best , my lungs will thank me one day.

There was an interesting bit of interaction with a local old boy who had taken a bit of a shine to me and we had been out on a couple of bike rides together. Problem was someone had told me just before Christmas that he had been in prison for attempted murder!!!!… I don’t like gossip of any kind but felt like I should delve into this a bit deeper with me being on my own here in France.

He text me almost immediately on arriving back in the village and wanted to meet up and get on with some French lessons that we had talked about previously. knowing what I had heard I politely said I wasn’t up for them at this point in time . And then… because I had drank at least three quarters of a bottle of red and my filters were down I decided to confront him about what i had heard. It didn’t go well.

He was understandably outraged and became rather hostile and provocative blaming ‘us English lot’ who are all terrible gossips. And on and on it went…. never once did he say anything to make me think it wasn’t true. So after a lot of texts from him I decided I didn’t want to make the situation worse and wished him a happy new year and asked him to stop texting me . I also text a lady in the village asking for the number of the local policeman just in case.

That night after making sure all the shutters were closed tight and taking the only ridiculously small kitchen knife to bed I tried to sleep, unsuccessfully.

The next morning I woke feeling very tired making my emotions worse and feeling like I had to get away. I had a month almost to go on my lease. What should I do?

The answer became clear when the landlord sent me my electric bill for 5 weeks and it was 230 Euros WTF!!! . I had been away for 10 days of the 5 weeks , I was shocked and fed up because I was still freezing cold all the time unless I was in bed.

The decision was made. I needed to get out of here to somewhere I felt safe and warm. The stalker texting me first thing was the icing on the cake…. I started looking at ferries and logistics for my next trip !