1. How old were you when you first discovered you were in Menopause?

I was 50 but I now think I had perimenopausal symptoms for about 10 years.

2. How did you know you were in Menopause?

As I had had an endometrial ablation for painful periods at 41 so had no idea when I was menopausal as I didn’t have periods.

Through the work I do I have collaborated with Diane Danzebrink menopause counsellor and founder of Menopause Support and Dr Louise Newson, menopause GP and leading expert who both talked to me and educated me about symptoms, many of which I didn’t realise were perimenopausal and menopausal. Dr Newson suggested I consider HRT and I used her website and Diane’s website as a resource for my information.

3. What stage of the menopause are you in?

Post menopausal.

4. What were/are your symptoms?

Chest pains and palpitations, itchy skin ( formication) and facial rashes, joint aches and pains, brain fog, tearfulness, anxiety, lack of concentration, forgetfulness,several vaginal infections including thrush and bacterial vaginosis and UTIs , vaginal swelling, soreness and irritation (I have a long history of genitourinary health issues which had mainly resolved but returned as I hit menopause).

5. What effect did/do your symptoms have on daily life?

Concentration, occasional chest pains, itchy skin and facial rashes, irritability, loss of confidence.

6. Have your symptoms affected your relationships with others?

I lose my temper quite quickly, irritable with my children and husband, get annoyed at simple issues, often doubt my actions.

7. How are you managing your menopause?

I use HRT patches twice weekly, local oestrogen (Vagifem) x 3 weekly in my vagina and YES vaginal moisturiser x 2 weekly. I do the 16:8 eating plan with my husband having done the 5:2 plan for 6 years which seems to work, I try to walk 3 miles daily and reduce my social media consumption! I also say no to media requests and talks.

8. What has been the worst thing about the menopause for you?

Walking out on my husband early in 2019 for several hours without telling him where I was. I spent 3 hours in a local bluebell wood crying with my phone switched off. He was so worried and sent the children to find me. I came home and we all had a really long chat which helped so much as I had felt so completely overwhelmed by personal circumstances. Having always asked our children to keep us informed as to their location I did the complete opposite!.

9. What is the best thing to come out of your menopause journey?

Meeting so many wonderful people and campaigners working to make the experience better for women everywhere. I have been really lucky having met both Diane and Louise who have helped me to manage my menopause and invited me to work with them.

As a sexual health and pleasure expert I talk about and have written about the impact the menopause has had upon our relationships, offering practical advice and solutions to help other people enjoy good sexual health and pleasure. This is often the one aspect of menopause that is not discussed due to embarrassment, believing there is no help, you have to put up with sexual health issues or give up on your sex life.

Through my own experience I am passionate about educating people about their vagina health which is often impacted upon during and beyond menopause. On my journey I have been fortunate to meet Jane Lewis, a passionate campaigner for vagina health. She wrote a book, Me & My Menopausal Vagina, which is a valuable resource for vagina/vulva owners, their partners and many healthcare professionals. Jane and I have great fun talking about vagina health, sexual health, sexual pleasure and all those topics that so many people find embarrassing. We want people to feel comfortable talking about their intimate health and seek medical advice rather than suffering in silence.

10. What do you want other women to know that may help them to get through the menopause?

Help is available, if your GP is not helpful, ask for a second opinion, do your research, there are several great websites including menopause support and my menopause doctor, the NICE Menopause guidelines which are for medical professionals and also have practical advice for patients. Menopause Support and the Latte Lounge are fantastic groups where you will find practical advice, excellent resources, good medical information from trained menopause medical professionals and great support from other people going through the menopause.

Educate yourself about the symptoms. ( there are several useful symptom checklists you can use including on the websites mentioned above) Even as a former nurse I had no idea that some of my symptoms were menopausal. My GP never acknowledged them as menopausal and treated them individually rather than joining the dots, even when I kept saying am I menopausal? I hasten to add my youngish GP cannot say the word sex and always refer to it as contact!!

After a year I saw another GP with an interest in women's health in my practice who said I was menopausal straight away who is brilliant and I now see her for any women’s health issues.

However I am aware that many people do not have access to a trained menopause GP or one who is even interested in menopause which is why I am part of #MakeMenopausematter campaign, started by Diane Danzebrink in 2018, aimed at getting better training for GPs, menopause support in the workplace and menopause on the school curriculum. The last one was achieved in 2019, we are now focusing on the other two aims in 2020.

Talk to your partner, children (if they are old enough to understand), family, friends, work colleagues. If you find you are struggling at work, speak to your manager or HR. There is more awareness about managing menopause in the workplace.

Do not give up on your sex life or relationship, especially if you enjoy sex. Look after your vagina health as this is a time when many vagina owners noticed changes which impact upon their sexual health and pleasure.. There are so many ways to remain intimate, overcome painful sex, vaginal dryness, tightness, decreased sexual sensation and low libido.

Connect with Samantha:

Web: www.jodivine.com/authors/samantha-evans

Twitter @samtalkssex and @jodivine.uk

Instagram : jo.divine and samtalkssex

You can find Jo Divine on FaceBook and we have a YouTube Channel too.

More about Samantha:

I’m Samantha Evans, former nurse and co-founder of “Jo Divine”, an online sex toy company, with my husband Paul.

As resident sexual health and pleasure expert at Jo Divine I write practical articles about enjoying sexual intimacy and pleasure for our online magazine and the media. I advise many people and their partners about ways to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure when they experience sexual health issues due to disability, injury, illness, disease, medical/surgical intervention and the ageing process, including vaginal dryness, vaginal tightness, post op scarring, post hysterectomy, post cancer treatment, decreased sexual sensation, menopause and low libido through exploring suitable sex toys, silicone dilators and pH balanced sexual lubricants which can help them overcome sexual issues, remain intimate, enjoy sex and have fun with a partner or for solo pleasure.

We created a health brochure containing suitable products with a urogynaecolgist and women's health physiotherapist in the NHS to help people overcome sexual issues to encourage healthcare professionals to open the conversation about sexual intimacy and pleasure with their patients.

Whoever you are, you should never have to give up on your sex life and I passionately believe that it is always possible to enjoy pleasurable sex by being imaginative, adventurous and making it fun.