Letting go...
Since lockdown started, I have moved to a new house, sold my dream car, and become an empty nester as my 19-year-old son has left home.
These have not been easy months for anyone, I know but we each have our own stories to tell and these have been mine…..
I move house a lot, usually about every 18 months or so..Crazy hey for some people. For me I like change and if I can move to better my quality of life then I will do it. I have never owned my own property, choosing instead to travel and be a free spirit for most of my life. What I do know now is that there is an overwhelming desire to put some roots down and have a house to really call home. A house that my husband and I can live in and put our stamp on and grow veggies and all that. The time has come, and we are as we speak planning a trip to France to look at potential properties. Moving to a new house IS stressful and although this move went very well and was on the surface a smooth one just the whole process took its toll on me mentally this time.I find that since I hit perimenopause my ability to deal with stress has lowered considerably.(Anyone else relate to this?) We also moved back to a place where we have lived before which seems a little strange to me, but it is a stepping stone to where we want to be, and it must be done right now. We have settled into a beautiful Roof Top Apartment in a Georgian building that overlooks parks. With tall windows, light filled rooms and freshly painted by Dan my husband.
I said goodbye to my beloved Nissan Figaro, Joy (everyone names their Figgie) that I have owned for over three years and she is one of those cars that every time I got into her, I had a smile on my face. A gorgeous retro little car with a roof that came off for sunny days , just perfect for me in every way. She was over 26 years old and needed lots of work to keep her looking wonderful and a garage for the winter. Something we do not have at the new place. I waved her off with a tear in my eye but also happy she was off to a lovely new home in Wales.
My son Sol has gone to live with his father for a few months until he heads off to UNI in September. This has been bittersweet… it felt right that when we moved, he would go and live with his other biological parent and give me a well-earned rest after 19 years.
We spent some lovely time together, watching films (he is an avid movie watcher and an actor in the making) cooking and generally being silly.
I miss him but I know its good for him to start on his life path and to have an experience of seeing how another family lives and thrives, is a great life lesson. It is also lovely to have some time alone with my husband Dan who has looked after Sol for the last 8 years.
So what can we learn from releasing and letting go? I have learnt that nothing stays the same and trying to hold onto anything when change is due can cause us to be anxious and unhappy.
That change is the only constant and when we embrace that, we can learn to see the rollercoaster of our lives as how they are meant to be, and go with it. Take the ride , enjoy the journey.
Letting go can be cathartic. It also makes space for all that is to come. If we don’t make space we may just miss out on something amazing .