Nicola McPhun's Meno Story
1. How old were you when you first discovered you were in Menopause?
44 years old
2. How did you know you were in Menopause?
My periods stopped instantly and I was given a blood test that confirmed it.
3. What stage of the menopause are you in?
Post Menopause
4. What were/are your symptoms?
Hot flushes, Night sweats, Depression, Anxiety, Low Self Esteem, Loss of joy, Weight Gain, Insomnia, Anger, Brain Fog
5. What effect did/do your symptoms have on daily life?
I became very withdrawn and isolated myself from friends and family. It got so bad that I started to self-harm and I can only explain it by saying I could understand physical pain but could not understand the mental pain. I would often go to bed on a night and think that if I did not wake up that was ok.
6. Have your symptoms affected your relationships with others?
I became very withdrawn and cut off from friends (although I have since rekindled those friendships). My husband has been extremely supportive. Our physical relationship has suffered but we have found other ways to show intimacy.
7. How are you managing your menopause?
I tried HRT but it did not work for me. I then got into Triathlon and have found exercise has helped immensely with my mental health.
8. What has been the worst thing about the menopause for you?
Depression and anxiety
9. What is the best thing to come out of your menopause journey?
I have found what I am passionate about, the need to help other women to deal with the symptoms.
10. What do you want other women to know that may help them to get through the menopause?
That they are not alone, that any of the symptoms they are experiencing are normal and that there is help out there and people who understand.
Connect with Nicola:
FB – InvisibletoInvincible
Twitter - @InvincibleTo
Email – nicola@itoi.uk
More about Nicola:
I am Nicola McPhun, I am 53 years old. I started the menopause at 44 whilst still working as a police officer. I resigned 5 years ago after 22 years service and my husband and I now have our own property business. I am the youngest of 6 children and have 4 older sisters and an older brother, but despite having four older sisters we never spoke about the menopause.
I have been married to Rob for 23 years and he has been incredibly supportive and understanding.
We love to travel and in particular we love South Africa and hope to be able to spend more time over there when we finish working.
I found the menopause related depression and anxiety the most difficult to deal with, I would go to bed on a night and feel so anxious that I could not sleep, although I could never say what it was I was anxious about. When my husband went away I would count down the hours until he came home feeling I couldn’t cope without him. I became very withdrawn and stopped all social activities, I stopped finding any joy in life. I would often go to bed on a night and think “If I don’t wake up in the morning that’s ok”. I also started to self-harm.
I was a police officer for 22 years and resigned 5 years ago. I really loved being a police officer and feeling I was making a positive contribution and helping people to deal with often distressing situations. However the menopause made me lose the majority of my self-confidence and I no longer felt competent in my role. This led to a great deal of stress and was the main reason I resigned. The worse part was that I lost interest in life and this seeped into my work life and I am ashamed to say I lost the compassionate part of me as a police officer. I found the brain fog a real issue as I couldn’t rely on my memory and was constantly checking and double checking my work and then checking it again. I met recently with an ex colleague and friend and told her how I had lost my confidence at work and she cried saying she found it so sad as she had always seen me as one of the most confident and capable people she had worked with.
I had previously competed in Triathlon races and about 18 months ago I got back into training and racing which improved my mental health and physical health. I am trying to take my training to the next level and I have an ambition to try and qualify to represent GB as an Age Group Triathlete.
Having come through the symptoms I feel passionately that I do not want any other woman to suffer because I did not say anything, I want to be part of a vocal generation. I started a Facebook Support group called Invisible to Invincible Beating Menopause Through Sport and Support. I hope to help woman deal with the hormonal minefield that can be the menopause by combining talking about the menopause and exercise.