My menopause occurred at the age of 43 as a result of surgery

I had a long history (from my late teens) of extremely painful periods, passing out etc. In my early 30s, after coming off the pill, this worsened significantly and ultimately resulted in 8 years of investigations, misdiagnosis, medication and ultimately investigative surgery that identified that I had severe endometriosis, which was extensive throughout my pelvic area and my left ovary had been consumed by a ball of scar tissue roughly equivalent in size to my uterus. As a result, the decision was taken to have a total laparascopic hysterectomy, taking my cervix, uterus, the dead ovary and excising the endometriosis, but leaving the right ovary intact in order to prevent menopause.However, within 12 months, my symptoms had returned (pain, passing out) just without the monthly periods and on further investigation, it appeared that the endometriosis had returned. In total, I had six surgeries over 4 years, with the final one happening in May 2016 when the remaining ovary was removed with further excision of the regrowth.

Hot flushes and night sweats began within a week of that surgery – it arrived with force and immediacy.

I actually think I am through the worst of it now. I still have flushes and night sweats, but they are nowhere near as extreme as they were 3 years ago.

My main symptoms were the overheating and weight gain – it seems that no matter how good I am with food and exercise, the weight just crept up. Insomnia and chronic fatigue has been a problem for me which developed during the time I was struggling with endometriosis but it does seem to have worsened during menopause, which then contributes to a degree of brain ‘fogginess’ some days. I also have quite bad chronic pain in my joints, which my neurologist considers consistent with fibromyalgia, although it is distinctly possible that it is related to the menopause and she had made this observation.

My symptoms of anxiety and depression have recurred during menopause, leading to two episodes of intrusive thoughts about suicide. However, I was in an extremely stressful working environment at both times and that was the major contributory factor to those episodes. However, the anxiety and depression sits alongside my menopause timeline and I do think the hormonal changes have contributed to this. I am now on low doses of beta-blockers and an anti-anxiety medication which does seem to have helped, so I am better placed to cope with the other symptoms of the menopause on a day to day basis.

The worst part has been dealing with having hot flushes in public situations. I was a teacher up until a few months ago and when the flushes were at their peak, it was embarrassing and uncomfortable to be in a classroom full of teenagers whilst turning beetroot red and dripping with sweat. With my older students I explained what was happening and they accepted and treated me with kindness and respect – many an occasion a student would open a window or switch aircon to cold when they saw it starting. It was harder to deal with with other adults if I’m honest – whilst making presentations to colleagues or external bodies, it wasn’t really the done thing to announce that there wasn’t anything to worry about and say “Don’t panic, it’s just the menopause!” I found that regardless of gender, it made other adults uncomfortable, which to be honest made me a bit bloody minded in making sure I told them!!!

I am blessed to have extremely supportive family and friends. My son, who is now nearly 20, has been well informed about my endometriosis and the subsequent impact of the surgeries, so much so that he may well have helped his partner with potential early identification of similar symptoms! He is unphased and helps by bringing my cool pillow or cold flannels when needed. My husband is also very understanding and has given me the space I need to get through the broken nights of sleep without me feeling that I am disturbing him.

My friends equally are understanding and supportive (and perhaps a little relieved that I am going through it all before them so they can ask my advice when it happens to them).

It has varied to be honest. I have been lucky that I haven’t struggled with periods or with hormonal mood swings, because my menopause was immediate as a result of surgery. I’ve not used HRT because there is a risk with oestrogen for me that it will cause endometriosis regrowth and I cannot have progesterone only medication as it has twice caused my mental health to be extremely poor whilst I was trying to manage my endometriosis.

I try and walk daily – I aim for 5 miles, some days I manage it, other days I don’t. Getting out in the fresh air and daylight has been really important for me – I walk, listen to podcasts and audiobooks or music and try to give myself some headspace. Weirdly, doing something like a brisk walk actually helps me to overcome the fatigue that I quite often feel.

I also started doing yoga to keep my joints moving. I go for a deep tissue sports massage once a month to help with the joint and muscle pain as well.

I would say that the worst bit for me is the impact that it has had on my own self esteem and mental health. I have never had a particularly positive mindset about my own self image, so weight gain and the decline in my mental health have been hard things to process and deal with. My mental health is much better now. As for self perception – I think that’s a bigger hill to climb.

The other big thing has been fatigue, which stems from the insomnia, but again (and quite sadly) I seem to have become quite used to it now!

It may seem silly, but for the first 18 months I had to stop taking baths and only have showers. I loved nothing more than a good long soak in a hot bath, but I couldn’t do it as it always triggered a hot flush and I genuinely felt like I was suffocating. Fortunately, that has now changed and I am back to floating around in my bath when I want!

I’ve realized that if I can cope with everything that has happened to me physically and mentally over the past decade, I am stronger than I ever believed I was. I was able to speak out and seek help when my anxiety took me to rock bottom and I was able to make some fairly major decisions about my career, being prepared to take a risk to pursue my love of photography, because I’ve realized how much support I have around me and that if I can cope with hot flushes in front of teenagers, then I can pretty much take on the world!

I also think that my relationships with my husband and son have grown because of my menopause journey – they’ve seen my struggles and supported me. Even more so, I believe that my relationship with my own Mum has changed enormously as we’ve had some frank discussions and sharing of experiences over the past 3 years.

• Don’t be afraid to go to your GP and tell them your symptoms. It helped me massively to make a note of what I was experiencing and kept a symptom diary so that when I went to see them, I didn’t forget what I needed to tell them.

• Talk to friends and family – explain what is happening to you, it’s nothing to be ashamed of and you need people around you who understand, even if they can’t necessarily do anything about it.

• If you are able to, talk to your employer or an understanding colleague so that someone in your workspace knows how it is impacting on you.

• Exercise really does help, even when you don’t feel like it and even if it is just something gentle like going for a walk.

• Giving yourself time to switch off, whatever that means for you, is crucial.

• It doesn’t have to be embarrassing or something that you are ashamed of. It’s an important phase of our lives as women and actually, for all of the physical and emotional symptoms, it really has been quite liberating – no periods, no period pain and, for me at least, a bit more confidence and sassiness about who I am and what I am capable of.

Connect with Sarah:

My website is: www.sarahdunwoodphotography.co.uk

I can also be found on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook by searching for Sarah Dunwood Photography

More about Sarah:
I’m Sarah Dunwood. I’m 46 years old, on my second marriage and I have a son who is nearly 20 – I’m wondering how on earth that time passed so quickly. Family is everything to me.

I would say that my life has been interesting, I probably could write a book, but probably shouldn’t because people might not like being included in it!

I studied business and economics at university and then progressed into teaching, which became an all consuming career for over 20 years which, for the most part, I absolutely loved. However, I made the decision earlier this year to leave teaching – not because of students, because they were awesome – and to change career completely by focusing on my real passion which is photography. I’m a few months into setting up my business and building an audience for my work and, if I’m honest, I’m wondering why I didn’t listen to friends and family years ago when they told me this was what I should do. My mental and physical health, along with my general sense of wellness, has improved so much and I consider it a real blessing that I get to travel, meet people from all walks of life and take photos of them.