Kate Oakley
How old were you when you first discovered you were in Menopause?
I realised I was in peri menopause when I was 49 – but it would have been sooner than that if I had known and understood what peri menopause actually was. Until that point, I had thought there was just the one life stage called ‘menopause’ and that was around when your periods stopped – probably in your mid 50’s. I now look back and think that my peri menopause symptoms started around the age of 47/48.
How did you know you were in perimenopause?
I knew I was in peri menopause because I had been conducting my own research into the stages of Menopause and the symptoms associated with it. I was doing this because I’d decided I needed to understand more for my work – I was changing career to become a Fitness Coach for peri menopausal and menopausal women. During this time, my symptoms had become more noticeable, or perhaps it was that I was more aware of them because of my research so no longer assumed they were down to something else!
What stage of the menopause are you in?
Peri menopause
What were/are your symptoms?
Disturbed sleep – awake a lot on and off throughout the night. Particularly hot at night.
No libido – and it doesn’t feel like just an ‘off patch’ – it feels like a light has been switched off permanently
Mood swings – from angry, to emotional, to low – all in a short space of time
Extremely dry itchy skin all over my body
Hot flashes – not as extreme as some have them but I have been known to be sat in the garden in a bra and my jeans in the middle of cooking dinner when it’s 0 degrees outside!
Sore breasts – at times extremely painful and enlarged
Bloating
Brain fog
What impact do your symptoms gave on your daily life?
I can feel drained more easily, tired, overwhelmed – and then that makes the day harder to enjoy. I want to feel more joyful more often. I miss that.
Have your symptoms affected your relationships with others?
They make it hard sometimes for my husband as I can be snappy and irritable with him and he is expected to take it as, hey, it’s peri menopausal. That’s tough on him. When I can’t help but be like that, (I feel like a dark angry cloud has come over me) I don’t have the mental capacity to care what he thinks/feels. I feel horrible saying that but that is how this makes me feel. When the angry cloud passes, I then feel low because I haven’t been very nice to him – so it’s a horrible circle really.
Lack of libido of course impacts my relationship but we make sure we talk about it so it’s not brushed under the carpet and this really helps.
My mood swings can be unpredictable – my teenage boys have witnessed it. I think this effects me more than them as afterwards I feel upset that I’ve been anything but 100%.
My family seem to understand – we talk openly about peri menopause – however, I am sure it is taking its toll.
How are you managing your menopause?
I am now taking HRT – oestrogen and progesterone. I would like to look into taking testosterone too for focus and libido.
I am using certain supplements too; Vitamin D, Omega 3, Evening Primrose Oil, B vitamins & Magnesium
I am exercising regularly, eating healthily and trying to get enough sleep
What has been the worst thing about the menopause for you?
The mood swings
What is the best thing to come out of your menopause journey?
It sounds so contradictory to say, given all the symptoms I listed, but in many ways, I feel more confident and determined to be my own person than I ever have been. I think it’s no co-incidence that I thought about leaving my corporate career behind in my early 40’s to requalify as a fitness coach, but didn’t have the confidence, the self-belief to make the leap. Then at 49 – in the midst of peri menopause – my attitude had shifted and I thought ‘why the hell not? What’ve I got to lose?’ I care less about what people think about me, about my choices in life and more highly of myself! That’s really liberating! This can, despite the challenges, be a fabulous time of life! I’m determined about that!
What do you want other women to know that may help them to get through the menopause?
That information, knowledge can really help how you feel. A lot of women sadly don’t know that what is happening to them and how they’re feeling is not their fault and is out of their control in terms of it being down to their changing hormones. And I’d like others to know that there is help out there – both emotionally and medically. HRT really is an option and could turn your life around. Exercise, nutrition and sleep are also game changers. There is help out there as to how to get these three pillars of health working again for you.
Connect with Kate
Instagram @yourfuturefit
Email kate@yourfuturefit
Are you struggling with your perimenopause symptoms? It can be really tough , I know I have been there and come out the other side…
My 12 week perimenopause coaching package takes you from not coping to thriving. To find out more about it and how it can help you click below.
I have a new private Facebook group called Perimenopause Hub, would love you to join and find support and connection and information around all things perimenopause.